Cover Snark: Saint Nick the Oil Slick

Jun. 30th, 2025 07:00 am
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Posted by Amanda

Welcome back to Cover Snark! It’s a real “Christmas in July” edition.

Gift Wrapped in a Kilt by Anna Durand. A very oily, shirtless man in a santa hat and red pants. He's really shoving his hand in those pants. A snowy Christmas tree is in the background.

From Sharon

Sarah: At thumbnail size, it looks like he is grabbing hold of an entirely different package.

Elyse: Greasy Santa …

Sarah: Shiny Claus

Claudia: I understand that chimneys can present a challenge, but all that slickness is not appealing!!

Sarah: WHEEEE!

Amanda: All that soot is really going to stick to that baby oil. Also…those lights are on, which I fear poses another risk.

Sarah: if those tiny bulbs get hot like I think they will, the oil will only amplify the burn. Seems unwise.

Shana: I was promised a kilt, not an oil slick. Can I send this gift back?

Unhinged by Vera Valentine. An image of a white door with a white door frame and the apartment number of 69.

From Christine: I just can’t stop giggling over this book. This perhaps doesn’t quiiiite fit cover snark. The 69 looks a bit photoshopped, but otherwise it’s fine. And the cover shows the male romantic lead character. Very normal. Except. I mean. It’s a door! A door!

Sarah: Yes. The hero is the heroine’s front door. “When a man claiming to be her front door enters her dreams to warn her about an imminent threat to her life, Tana initially chalks it up to her weird late-night snacks.”

I have to admit, the “69” is a…nice touch.

Amanda: I think Elyse read or was going to read this one!

Elyse: I think not

I may have said that in a moment of insanity

Amanda: I’m looking at this cover with new perspective after playing Date Everything.

Shana: Mmmm look at that sexy wood grain.

Sarah: Is it me or is the doorknob lower than it would usually be?

I can’t believe I have stared at a door for this long.

Baby Duke by Samara Dark. The torso of a man. He has on jeans and his t-shirt is being pulled up to his pecs. He has one hand in a front pocket. Another set of hands are wrapping around him and sliding into his pants.

From Sara: While I know what they were going for, the result is slightly disturbing.

Sarah: Have we snarked this before, or am I thinking of another more different cover with extraneous arms?

Also if her hands are cold, she won’t be impressed by what she finds after splunking down that way.

Amanda: Two thoughts! Is “Baby Duke” what he calls his peen? And the nail color is…bad because of how well it blends into her skin tone.

Sarah: This is a cover that at its smallest size will give folks a double take.

Special Agent Finnegan by Mimi Barbour. A headless man in a black t-shirt takes up the left half of the cover, but there's both a translucent Christmas tree and a woman's face overlapping his body.

From PamG: Said the FBI guy to the thirsty girl,
Do you see what I see?
Growing from my pants, thirsty girl.
Do you see what I see?
A star, a star, totters at the peak.
Let us hope that Thirsty doesn’t freak.
Let us hope that thirsty doesn’t freak!

(Who knew that pining was so chic?)
Bonus challenge: come up with a final refrain.

Sarah: EXTREME PINING ALERT. The pining is emerging from his pants!

Even his peen is pining. It’s not even subtle.

 

 

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Posted by Sarah Brown

Wax on, purr off. When it comes to the ancient art of meowrtial arts, no one does it quite like a karate kitten. These furmidable feline fighters have mastered the claw stance, the hiss of focus, and of course, the legendary pawkick. Trained by their wise and whiskered sensei Mr. Meowgi they're ready to defend their dojo from any unsuspecting laser dot or evil vacuum cleaner.

Don't let their fluff fool you. These whisker warriors are agile, silent, and pounce with purrcision. One minute they're meditating in a sunbeam, the next they're delivering a flying double-paw smackdown worthy of the Pawrate Kid title. Their black belts? Probably made of yarn, but still very impressive.

Between kata-naps and cat-chops, these kitties live by the code: "Strike fast, nap faster." Whether they're practicing their mew-jitsu or defending the sacred scratching post, these cats kick tail and look absolutely clawsome doing it.

Because in the dojo of life, sometimes all you need is focus, balance, and a really fierce paw.

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Posted by Sarah Brown

Adopting a kitten for the first time is a real paws-and-claws adventure! This new pawrent hoped for a calm, older cat but instead got a bundle of fur and zoomies who seems to have a soft spot for the roommate, leaving them feeling a bit hissterical and guilty. Those nighttime zoomies have turned bedtime into a catastrophe, with both humans running on empty despite all the playtime to wear out their little furball. It's a classic kitten vs. exhausted hooman showdown! With the roommate moving out soon, there's some feline worry about the little fluff being left in the lurch.

Here's the catch: adopting is a journey full of purrs and hiccups. Kittens especially need time, patience, and plenty of toy-chasing to settle their paws at home. It's totally normal for them to bond differently with their hoomans at first. This pawrent's heart is in the right place, and that's what really matters! With some extra play and patience, peace will purrsist, and those zoomies will eventually turn into peaceful naps instead!

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Posted by Sarah Brown

Cats and laptops are a classic combo like peanut butter and jelly, but furrier and way more mischievous. Somehow, these clever kitties always know when you're trying to work and promptly turn your keyboard into their personal playground. Whether they're sprawled across the keys soaking up the warm glow or batting at the moving cursor like it's the ultimate prey, laptops become prime real estate for their royal reign.

It's almost like they think, "Why type when I can nap?" and settle in right on top of your important documents. And those random paw taps? Instant cat commands, probably telling you to take a break or give them some chin scratches. Don't forget the tail swishes that mysteriously hit the 'delete' or 'enter' keys. Talk about sneaky shortcuts!

Sure, they might slow down your work, but these furry IT specialists bring a whole lot of charm and purrsonality to your day. So next time your cat commandeers your laptop, just accept that you're now working for them!

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Posted by Jesse Kessenheimer

Offices are not unlike the Wild Wild West. While it may seem like a fresh frontier of opportunity, where you can be a cubicle outlaw, riding a steed of Excel sheets, and dueling with your saloon rival on your lunch break, several rules must be abided by, or else the sanctity of order falls apart. 

For starters, replying to an email 30 seconds after receiving it is a big 'no-no' unless it's a specifically urgent matter. That person just checked this task off their To-Do list; there's no need to pile it right back onto the top. Other rules of the office are more nuanced. For example, you can't microwave fish in the communal space, you have to admire pictures of your fellow coworkers' children (when prompted), and you certainly can't finish the break room coffee without making a new pot. These are the laws of the office outlaws, and they must be abided... Or else.

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Posted by Ben Weiss

Who else is tired of dealing with the consequences of a supervisor's mistake? This employee, who rarely ever takes time off work, put in a PTO request months ago that was fully approved. It wasn't even a long vacation, but rather a three-day weekend to decompress as he was experiencing burnout. His supervisor approved it, and everything was set for a nice day off for the employee.

Unfortunately, however, when the day finally came, the employee's temporary vacation was interrupted by frustration from his supervisor for not showing up to work. Clearly, she had forgotten that this was the day she approved months ago. One would think that after explaining this to her, she would have backed down and apologized… but nope! He was still written up. Keep scrolling below for the full story along with reactions from several members of the online community and a subsequent update from the employee!

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Posted by Remy Millisky

It may be tough for dog parents to hear this, but not everyone loves your fuzzy baby the same way you do. Some people really dislike any pets, while others just dislike dogs. While you think your furry child is man's best friend, your neighbor might think they smell, or be irritated that they make messes on the lawn, or be irritated that they keep wandering onto their property without permission. A lot of dog owners tend to brush these criticisms off as the neighbor being dramatic… but the frustration builds up over time, and it's not going to make your neighbor like you or your pup any more. 

Along with asking nicely, this fed-up neighbor had to create a "please do not walk on grass" sign to try and keep the pesky pup away. That implies that it could even be hazardous for an animal to be on the lawn, but of course, the bad neighbors wouldn't let that stop them from letting their dog run loose. 

Check out the full story down below, as well as commenters who gleefully offered additional solutions. Then, read some satisfying stories of people who quit their bad jobs, then reported back to tell us what happened next: "2 weeks later I get a call… He's begging me to come back." 

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Posted by Laurent Shinar

Welcome to another Sunday, a day meant for calm, for comfort and for cats. Well, every day is kinda made for cats, so that one does not really count. But nonetheless, it is a day that implores us to relax and unwind before another bout of bother comes our way with the beginning of a new week.

So to help you take full advantage of this final day of freedom, we made this list of chill cat memes that will guarantee you an easy and breezy Sunday meowning vibe, as you deserve. And as such we implore you to find a sunny spot to put your feet up in and soak in the relaxing rays of the sun while your scroll this list of wholesome cattos. And if you find yourself in need of even more feline frivolity, you can peruse this list of funny felines.

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Posted by Ben Weiss

Messing with your neighbor's boundaries is always a risk not worth taking. Just because you think you can get away with it does not mean you should do it. Your neighbor may seem timid, but that may change once you push their buttons enough.

In this instance, the author of this story was sick and tired of his neighbor blocking his driveway. To make matters worse, the neighbor could have parked just ten meters forward and it would have been fine, but now the author was completely unable to pull out of his own driveway. It was the final straw for him, so he decided to take special care with the nature strip outside of the house. This responsibility was usually handled and organized by the town council, but the author decided to do it himself because he could control exactly where the gravel would fall. Let's just say that his neighbor's car ended up being a casualty in the process.

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Posted by Lana DeGaetano

You could be the nicest, most helpful colleague any of your coworkers could possibly have, and they'll still try to pull a fast one on you. That is the nature of a competitive, hierarchical workforce where output = priority, even when quality (and morality) are sacrificed in the process. It doesn't matter where someone got their idea, only that they said it first, and louder. Sure, that's not intellectual theft at all!

This happens in the workplace more often than you'd think. It's easy to turn the other cheek if it happens to you once or twice, but in doing so, you're setting a precedent that only exists to hurt you and be a source of benefit for a lazy colleague. Don't become someone people want to step on—it's difficult to come back from something like that.

That's why you go straight to a higher-up and tattle on your fraudulent coworker instead! Yep, this isn't high school. Tattle tales don't get called out for being too sensitive—they're rewarded. A company will avoid a lawsuit at all costs, so they'll likely be in the scorned employee's corner. Scroll below to see how this story ends.

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Posted by Ayala Sorotsky

Let's be honest: cats are fluffy goblins in disguise. One moment they're curled up like a cinnamon roll on your lap, purring like a tiny angel. The next moment, they're knocking a glass off the table while staring you straight in the eye. That's just who they are - tiny chaos gremlins wrapped in soft, adorable fur.

They sprint across the hallway at 3 AM for reasons. They scream at closed doors and then ignore you once opened. They demand food even when their bowl is already full. These are not bugs in the system. This is the entire cat system. And yet, we love them endlessly. Maybe even more because of the chaos. They keep us humble. They keep us entertained. They keep us guessing whether we're hoomans… or just live-in cat servants.

So if you're owned by a feline overlord (or two, or five), these gloriously unhinged cat memes will hit close to home. Let's celebrate the fluffy goblins who have completely taken over our hearts, and probably our countertops. Long may they zoom. Long may they meow. Long may they rule.

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Posted by Remy Millisky

There's no juicier drama than watching an employee who's been pushed a bit too far and is right on the edge of quitting their job for good. 

If you've ever worked in retail or food service, you've probably seen someone quit with dramatic flair at least once. Maybe the closer found out they were going to be closing alone, so they tossed their keys to the GM and did donuts in the parking lot for a while before driving home. Or perhaps a worker who has no patience got saddled with the regular who complains about every little thing, and decided it'd be more fun to tell off the sass master rather than hold onto their minimum wage job. While it's going down, everyone else gets to watch it unfold, which is truly a team-building exercise in its own rite. There's nothing that brings the other employees together like watching one of their own live out the dream with dramatic flair. 

Next, read about the 19-year-old high school grad who just wanted to have a party, but when her most dramatic friend showed up, she dragged the spotlight onto herself: "She decided it was the perfect time to tell me." 

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Posted by Ayala Sorotsky

There's nothing quite like the comforting presence of a cat. Whether they're curled up beside you, loafing at the end of the bed, or slowly blinking at you from across the room - cats have this magical ability to calm our chaotic hooman hearts. Their soft purrs are basically a soothing soundtrack to whatever kind of day you're having.

Cat mamas and papas know: it's not just about being owned by a feline (yes, they own you). It's about the warmth, the snuggles, the gentle headbutts, and even the judgmental glares - they all somehow make everything feel a little better.

Now, imagine this: your cat is cozily curled up on your lap, the world outside can wait, and you're scrolling through the most wholesome, purr-inducing, heartwarming cat memes the internet has to offer. That, right there, is peak comfort. So if today's been a little ruff (sorry, wrong species), these delightful cat memes are here to wrap you in a fluffy blanket of feline love.

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Posted by Mariel Ruvinsky

Gooood meorwning, cat people! And it is a good morning. The sun is shining, we don't have to go to work, and things just… seem brighter somehow. And we want to make the best out of this feeling. We want to make it last - as long as pawssible. We want our whole week full of this much pawsitivity. So, we are making it our mission to fill this day with as many good vibes as possible, so that they spill over into the week. And the first step in that process is, of course, starting the morning with a whole bunch of silly cat memes.

Now, these are not just any funny cat memes, friends. Like we do every single week, today, we bring you the best of the best of cat twitter, because one thing about that platform that is not going to change it how iconic cat twitter is, and our job is to save you the time and bring you only the best right here. 

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